The height of your fence

My wife and I recently purchased a new home. It is by far the nicest place I have ever lived since leaving my parent’s home in 1998, and a generally good fit for my family. It is a new home, in a new area, in a new subdivision full of new people. Nice people. Stroller pushing people. Bringing over an apple pie people. Young, bright and vibrant families not so different from mine. I only say this to illustrate the fact that I have felt in no way intimidated, threatened, unsafe or undermined. Yet, the first thing to come out of my mouth once we had unpacked all of the boxes, hung up the clothes, hooked up the electronics, and ventured outside to enjoy the backyard was, “I tell you what, as soon as we settle in, the first thing we’re going to do is build a fence.”

Build a fence. Not soon after I uttered that seemingly rational, red blooded, logical, and productive statement, did my wife say, “I don’t think that we should build a fence.” Not build a fence? Is she crazy? Fences are what people build. They are our first line of defense in invasion and our last line of defense in escape! They are necessary. To keep in all that is good and to keep out all that is unknown. Dangerous or otherwise, it is worth the minuscule risk of being wrong. Men have been building fences since man has determined the positive effects of owning real estate. I was going to build a twelve foot tall fence topped with prison grade razor wire, if the covenants allowed it. Residence, or penitentiary, We NEEDED a freaking fence.

Her basis for not building a fence, and i quote: “I want our neighbors to be able to say hi, or walk on over if we are outside with the kid’s, or. . .(insert whatever motherly activity you desire)” As silly as it sounded at first, she had a decent point. We had met out neighbors, they were great people. They had already been over several times in the short time that we had lived there. Our kids played with their kids, my wife hung out with his wife, and they keep their yard in great shape. Why keep them out? They would never come over if we weren’t outside, let alone not at home, and if they did it would be to slay any would be trespasser. But I wanted a fence. I just did. At least an 8 foot privacy fence, preferably cedar, with a single nails spacing in between the boards, if i wanted to mow the grass in nothing but my socks.

However, the next day I began to realize that my wife unknowingly executed a tremendous lesson covering one of the greatest fallacies of relationships, business, innovating, creating, and life in general. Fences do one thing well: They keep people out. And more often than not, they keep out far more of the people you need to be letting in, than the people you really should be keeping out. I thought back to the moment that I removed the fence from my professional life.

I was working on an extremely complex and proprietary display technology. This was not the first project that I was executing behind my fence, but it proved to be the last. As I toiled away, behind my fence for the umpteenth time, attempting to thwart any better funded thieves, any less innovative copy cats, any unscrupulous partners, or any loose lipped acquaintances, I succeeded in doing much more than I anticipated. I alienated potential investors, quality team members, helpful vendors, and willing advisers; not to mention my wife, parents, friends and mentors. Yes a fence can be a wonderful tool, but more often than not it becomes a hindrance to success and more importantly a means of unhealthy disconnect.

After years of hiding behind my fence, in writing, in music, in inventing, in relationships, and most other areas of my life in which I sought success, I decided to tear it down. It was too tall, too foreboding, and too effective. While working on my latest concept, Ideabreaker.com, I have done 90% of the work in comfortable openness. Sure, I have kept the proprietary, and technical aspects close, but not from those who have more of in interest in me than in the product. My wife has been a terrific asset in comfort and strength, my parents have been invaluable resource as a sounding board and a leveling agent, and my friends and advisers have helped to pave the way for something truly ground breaking through research and corrective criticism. That is brings a feeling of true security, a security that produces, instead of consuming.

As for the backyard, it is still getting a fence. A nice, short, and inviting one of the picket variety, with a number of easily accessible gates. You would do good to replace yours as well.

What’s keeping you?

“What’s keeping you?”

This little piece of grammatically incorrect language had for quite sometime escaped my consciousness. It was only when I reflected upon why it was that at 27 years old, and with a seemingly endless collection of thoughts, that I was not of the next generation of publishers. It was while I was riding in the car today that I was revisited by the question, “What’s keeping you?” In reality, the all to common answer to this question is invariably simple: Nothing.

Nothing, is what keeps us from doing anything. Nothing is what keeps us from accomplishing anything great, both for ourselves and others.

Nothing.

“What’s keeping you?” is a question asked by two types of people. Those that care greatly for you, and those who do not care for you at all. The first group ask this question as a simple way of extracting what excuse might be plaguing us at any given moment, in an effort to spur our growth. The latter ask as if to belittle us for being susceptible to excuses at all. Like there is an individual on this planet that has not fallen victim to the paper tiger of nothing-based decision making.

So, have you developed a marketing strategy for your latest startup? Well, what’s keeping you?”

Have you debugged that nagging piece of code that you once thought would change the world? What’s keeping you?

Did you approach the one professor in the engineering department that can help you build the final piece of your 10 million dollar puzzle? What’s keeping you?

If you find yourself being “kept”, chances are that nothing is keeping you, and it is far easier to overcome nothing than something. Whatever that something might be.

Somethings include things like:

*Caring for a dying relative 12 hours a day and working full time.

*Raising 5 kids by yourself, while your spouse is serving in Iraq.

*Working yourself half to death to earn your high school diploma at 23 years of age, while supporting a family on $6.50 an hour.

*(you get the picture)

The joyous truth of the matter is that real somethings are just a few steps away from becoming nothings, and overcoming somethings always leaves you in a better place than those who overcome nothings. In character, life experience, ethics, and rectitude. In short, if there is really something keeping you, overcome, triumph and get over it. If there is nothing keeping you, just get over yourself.

I did, and you’re reading it right now.